I have lots of things coming up in the next months. Everything is new to me now, its like a fresh start: a new school, including meeting new people, new lessons and new impressions. On september 2nd I will turn 16. A new age. About the new school... I am actually really nervous about that. We are going to Belgium for the introduction week. I don't know anyone and I'm not as social as the 'normal' human. Not saying I won't try to be social. I always do.
I cleaned my room today, while listening to 5sos. Then amnesia dropped in. The lyrics keeps repeating in my head
Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine? 'cause I'm not fine at all.
It keeps repeating in my head and it reminds me of a bad period in my life. I normally don't want to talk about it but sometimes I have to. I know I'd better forget it, but I just can't. It has damaged me in some ways. When I like someone, I see so many similarities between my ex and the boys I like. That stops me from liking them. I find it unfair that he is enjoying his new girlfriend and I am sitting here with an anxiety for getting a boyfriend. He continued his life as if nothing happened.
If what we had was real, how could you be fine? I'm not fine at all.
Sorry for all this drama but I had to tell it.